Stupid Image Host. Archives have broken links.
2001-10-15 - 4:44 p.m.
So it looks like I'm starting a new job working for my old, original wco boss. The one who used to make me dress up in a giant pink elephant suit and dance at adult internet conventions. 15% pay cut. But I'm not bitching. It's a job and I can take care of my expenses and Chloe's childcare and still buy my toys. I am deeper in debt, but so it goes. What else can I do but try to dig my way out? I missed a wrestling event, probably one of the most important of the year Friday. My fault. I didn't check with the sitter to see if she had plans come up, which of course they did. So I lost my spot. At least I am booked this month there, and that will give me a little more exposure. I'm really excited about Susan getting back tonight. I know that someone like her doesn't come along everyday...and I'm doing my best to pace it, and learn about myself, and how I approach relationships, and such, and why that each time I find myself falling into patterns. Steps...small ones, toward something real, I hope. I am not putting so much emphasis on an US, a susan-justin sitting in a tree, thing, but more along the lines of taking myself outside the relationship from time to time and examining it, and myself, the way I treat her, interact with her, how chloe fits..all of it. I don't want to be the guy who falls so hard he keeps breaking his nose. Thursday date, her and I. I'm going for the hello kiss. I need to write about Chloe's costume, and the progress I'm making in it's design. I have spent 12 dollars in equipment and supplies. That is just the beginning. And yes, we're trick-or-treating at the Mall...I don't buy into that nonsense fucking chicken little crap about the attacks. I'm going to live my life as normally as I can. I will be as vigilant as a parent can be, but I won't lock her inside the house and keep her from the changing world around us. It's her world too.
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