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2002-07-31 - 12:50 a.m.


I really miss working in an office.

Right now, I get up at 5am for a few hours and work on tech docs for this stupid contract Jeff and I have been milking, and not getting promptly paid for,

then I go back to sleep for a few hours,

get Chloe up,

feed her,

walk around the block (or halfway) while she rides her little bike,

then I get online and chit chat a bit,

talk to contractee's tech jackass (yes he's a AlTeRnAtInG CaPs Asshole).

Then I get Chloe over to Childcare at the Church (don't start)

and head off to the gym for an hour or two,

head back,

fuck around,

work on refurbing mom's hardwood floors...

check resume and postings,

ignore shifty career counsellor calls,

work on wrestling related bookings,

and wait for Chloe to be ready for pick up.

Grab her,

feed her,

grab a book off the rack in her room,

hang out and read Mermaid since that's the only fucking thing she ever fucking reads ever....

and do crunches while she plays in the family room.

It's time to get her bathed,

so we do that, she does shampoo all by herself now...

I read a chapter or two of whatever book I'm into, right now I'm reading a primer on Anton Checkov's short stories and deconstruction of traditional russian fables, because I'm a goddamn masochist, and this is something Skye would do....

I get dinner, and pop online for an hour or so checking emails, and reading up on wrestling and contract-related sites, bs on AIM, and plan on my gym session.

I get Chloe, we head to the gym,

I promise ice cream.

She smiles.

I melt.

I sweat and work out agressions and check my weight every hour on the hour.

We leave.

She gets the treat.

She gets teeth brushed.

Time for bedtime.

Stories...a few, no TV, just us, and a book.

I clean up and my brothers usually come by, or not, either way....I'm sleeping by 2am..and I start over the next day.

I've gone on dates, I've travelled...I've worked my ass off outside on the property here, but I am rapidly running out of patience with the arrangement.

I moved here to take a position with a specific company...to do a specific job.

The fact that they decided to do a reorg after my second in-house interview, and eliminate my position in the process doesn't help me one fucking bit.

I moved here so Chloe would be closer to her family...her cousins and uncles and grandparents.

I moved here so her mother could have a relationship that allowed her to be a part of the milestones that Chloe experiences daily

...the little things that I see, she should.

But she doesn't.

She hasn't called but three times in the two months since I arrived. Three times to speak with her daughter, hasn't visited here once. The only way she's going to see Chloe is when I bring her back down to L.A. again.

I have this position in Santa Monica, that is not going to work out, I can just feel it..because of some jackass whose only knock against me, is that HE fucked ME and I resent it!

God forbid.


Ok I have a ton more to say. NO energy or desire to turn this into something even less coherant...so I'll just post a ton of pics from Father's Day....and from our last mountain trip, tomorrow,Okay?

yeah.


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this wall has no mortar
Vitals:
35 Years old. 1971.
Taurus. Year of the Pig. Oink
Greying. Dyes, on occasion.
Blue/Green/Grey Eyes.
5'11. Okay, 5'10
215 pounds of boy
dad. married father.
love, big fan of/in
day: sr proj manager
night: pro wrestler (grr)

Links:
Tyler Likes Games
Steven Cloud: Luminary
Sleeping Jeff's Portfolio
Chloe's Unfinished Site
Penny-Arcade

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