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2001-10-21 - 5:20 p.m.
Thursday night I had a perfect evening with Susan.
Concha me Crazy for dinner, Serendipity, where John Cusak plays--get this--a hopelessy romantic who doesn't have a normal job!
I know, I know, it was hard for me to immerse myself in this character, but I managed.
I went for the hello kiss. Got it. Felt right, too.
We took my car to Pointe Orlando, walked around ,got the tickets, and missed the first 10 seconds of the movie. I hate that. We rushed to our seats, and SHE reached out and grabbed MY hand.
First time that'd happened between us. I was worried that my hand was actually going to be giving my nervousness away, sweat and all.
What the hell? I sound sixteen.
The movie was good, cute, and definetely a great date movie..but they just beat the whole serendipituous plot device over your head to the point that you're (at least me) halfway hoping that they end up blowing it. Anyways, it was also kinda weird seeing places in the movie that I recognized..places that I'd been to, not so long ago, with someone else.
Somebody I felt I had met thanks to destiny's hand.
The movie ended, we stayed, because we were snuggled up against one another, arms intertwined...fingers locked, and her weight against me. We stayed, until we both tried to sneak a look at the others face, and then, in shyness, jerked back.
It's so strange with her..I mean, I am not feeling rushed, hurried, nothing. She's the first girl that after two weeks of intimate situations, discussions, or dating, that hasn't said..
"I love you."
and I'm very thankful for that.
I guess the only way I can describe it, is this: I never get it right the first time. I always make mistakes and fix it as I go.
This is the first time in my life, that I feel as if I'm doing it all right the first time.
I don't feel as if I've done a single thing wrong in this relationship, to date, nothing uncomfortable, nothing forced, nothing covert or manipulative, no going through the motions, none of it.
Just finding out what it's like to walk, instead of run.
After the movie, we walked to my car, drove downtown to where she'd parked. We were both there, near her car, and I looked out and saw that the lake (lake eola) was lit up and not many couples or people were walking the path that surrounds it. I held her hand and asked her if she had time for a short walk, and she nodded and led me down the steps to the path.
I hate to keep saying the same word, but it was nice.
it was nice
walking, talking, laughing...having to adjust my jaw because it hurt so much from simply smiling.
We got to the ampitheater, an open-air public venue, and I got on stage, at her prodding, and half mumbled a few elvis songs, since she is a closet elvis fan, and got her smiling and she pulled me down, into her, and when we were inches apart, I drew her tight, and put my hands on her waist and kissed her, one small quick kiss.
We walked, talked, shared..actually we even talked about porno mags, not the most romantic topic but we were laughing and giggling over the ridiculousness of them, and then it was time to head back to the car..since we both had work the next day.
She gave me a picture (okay, I picked it out)and I've looked at it more than I should have these past few days.
I am probably going to fall for this girl, if things continue to go this well.
If that happens, I hope to God that she starts to fall for me, as well.
I know that both of us still have feelings for others....that let us get away. I hope there's room in her heart for me. I am doing my best to make room in mine.