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2001-11-30 - 11:13 a.m.
Time was, I'd worry about my job, as if it was my life, which it was, I suppose. I didn't have grey hair before I worked at my old company, that's for sure.
I thought it would be my retirement path, working there, cashing out on the whole internet stock phenomenon, but my timing was off, and things didn't work out. millions gone. millions of paper promises like soft lies whispered...lies. oh well.
My new job doesn't have the same promises, or paychecks to be honest, but I'm making a great living, and I'm liking coming to work. I do about the same amount of it, saturdays and 4am mondays, but that's just me.
I have a routine, it seems to work.
I left her braids in overnight and she had these great curls the next day that we kept.
My last day of work at WCO. I took a few pictures, of me and the office, and of Chloe.. when I left early that day, after hearing that we were shutting down; that it was finally over, for real this time.
Last day of work. My last step across the handicapped spot right outside the entrance of the office
The entire office was being ransacked by all the people who were owed weeks of backpay and vacation pay...I was owed like 15 grand or whatever, and I knew I'd never see the money. Fucked up. I gave up alot for that company.
Most of my closest friends had already quit or been laid off prior to the shut down date, so there wasn't any sort of "let's go get drunk" party..just dwindling attendance, after they announced they were closing the doors...dwinding attendance and dwindling computers. Fuck, people took everything that wasn't nailed down.
Why yes, that is the only expression I'm capable of.
I was just kinda numb...so I got up, called the childcare and went to pick up my angel, and took her out to WDW. I really wanted to go for me, more than her, to just escape for a bit, and drive my nice car to the big theme park, walk in unmolested without paying and just pretend things were okay.
Chloe and I spinning around on the new Winnie the Poo ride at Magic Kingdom.
It took me a few weeks to realize that they were more than okay.
I need a job. I need to work, yes, but I don't need to live to work, I need to work so I can enjoy the things I love, and if I end up poor I won't end up unhappy, I know that now. I have people in my life who love me, and who genuinely care about what happens to me and to my baby, my Chloe.
I said Smile. Honest. We were getting ready to get into my car. Notice the lack of dents. Puerto Rican Crazy Man attacked the driver side.
I mean really, what's the point of it all? I look at my parents who've never fought, at least not the kind of fights I've known in my relationships, and I can honestly say that I doubt my father has ever had to duck a ceramic dish or wonder if it was a good idea to fall asleep next to his wife! I'm not saying I'm without fault, because I'm certainly not the most tactful person when it comes to interpersonal relationships and communication.
I'm impossible, and frustrating and a total jerk.
Anyways, my dad has always been a hard worker, but he's never let his job dictate how he spends his time, he has his beer, his gold panning hobby, his wife, his dog, his trucks, and his Oakland-Motherfucking-Raiders.
He seems pretty happy.
So this time around, this job, is just that. A Job. A means to an end. A way for me to make it easy to take Chloe to the parks, to see Mickey and friends, to ride Pooh, to carry her on my shoulders when she wants to eat Pez and cotton candy.
Lemon Pez. Blue Skies. Giant Golfball.
That's what is important to me. That and spending time with someone special to me...someone who sees me too. Someone who tells me that I'm a catch--that they feel the spark. Someone who feels like they're going to burst if they don't see me soon.
Someone who loves Chloe as much as I do. Someone who can love me the way I love. Someone who doesn't feel like they're doing me favors by being with us. I do know that I won't ever put my job before that person.
I won't ever put Chloe between us, again, like a test, or a measure of her love for me...it's just not the way it should be.
How could you NOT love this smile?
Christ, neither of have that smile thing down just right, do we?
So...tonight I'm going to take advantage of the best thing about my new job.
Location location location
We're located smack dab in the middle of downtown Orlando, and working on the top floor of one of the office buildings here affords a great view of the sky, lake eola, and the downtown view.
I'm cooking steaks, steamed squash and zuchinni, baked potatoes and garlic mash.
a bottle of merlot, candles, white tablecloth (over a foldup table, but it's all I could manage) music, and Susan and I.
Nobody can accuse me of being less than perfectly romantic