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Stupid Image Host. Archives have broken links.
2003-02-28 - 10:00 a.m.
Chloe's eye's better, I'm weighing in at 182.5 pounds that's right....182.5 Sales coming in faster, almost enough for a respectable ring, have the front runner picked out and ready. Looking at new post-production shop space, for my guys, a more professional environment than the flats we're using. Deal with dvd production going tremendously, and will probably net an additional 30 to 55k of revenue for me a year, which is TITS! (I don't even know if I'm using that slang properly, but justin=fan of boobies, so let's just pretend I am, shall we?) Marie's coming here in just 7 days, can you believe that? 7When she leaves, she just MAY be formally introducing herself as the future Mr. Justin LastName. May, heh, c'mon, you know, I know it, everyone's read the script. Only questions that remain are: how, when, where I'm going to ask her. No why. No if. If. That's a word that's been wiped away almost completely thanks to Marie. Thanks to the us she's building with me. If I find someone If she likes me If she adores me If she loves me If she wants me If she'll marry me I am so filled with an incredible relief over finding someone that I don't pressure for affection, or reassurance. I don't have to ask her (but I do, I love the sound of it, the corners of her mouth shaping the ouuuu in I love you taking shape, losing form and fading back into that smile that stops my heart) I don't have to wonder when the bottom's going to fall out. I don't have to wonder why I can't find someone right for me, because if things weren't to work out with this girl, then I'm simply impossible to grow old with (quit it! I see you nodding, you weren't so perfect yourself, with your moodswings and weird panic attacks, yes you*) It's not a flawless thing, of course, I have Chloe and that adds such a dynamic to our relationship, many good things, but the simple fact is, she's young and doesn't deserve any undue burdens while she's growing and shaping herself into the person she's going to be for the next 70 years or so. But she's not shying away from it. She's also not pretending that she's going to walk in and be a mom and have that work out just dandy. I am very lucky to have found her, and I would like to think she's pretty lucky herself. Come may she'll be living here, with us, taking the first step on what's been an amazing prelude to our futures and lives together. I think what we have is fantastic, and I wouldn't trade it for any other scenerio I could dream up, honest. No IF's. * : Reading back, this could really apply to everyone I've dated in the past 3 years. SCARY!
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