Stupid Image Host. Archives have broken links.
2003-11-16 - 2:59 a.m.
I fill out turtleneck sweaters nicely.
My hair is slightly receding.
I am charming.
I am annoying.
I am fun to drink with.
I wear thin.
I grow on you.
I love being a dad.
I have shot at someone with an m-16.
They were wearing a twisty tie and had lice.
I am the friend who will help you bury the person you need to bury in the everglades.
I will even buy shovels at home depot.
I have left for love.
I've walked away from a lease in the middle of the night.
I've got the most ridiculous tattoo ever.
I can out drink you.
I've made millions, lost millions and mostly played playstation while it all went to shit.
I have a movie in my head that I'll never write, produce, film, or see come to fruition, but the soundtrack kicks ass.
You'd buy it, except I wouldn't let you.
I have owned an 8 track.
I've pegged my jeans, and dyed my tips.
I've played roulette with Ron Jeremy.
I've dressed in a giant pink elephant suit and had porn stars sit on my trunk.
I've spent weeks in a buddhist monastery to impress my in-laws.
I flew a girl overseas to meet me, and fell in love with her before she ever landed.
I've seen a ghost, or something creepy.
It was white, and scared me.
I was 8.
My first kiss was during spin the bottle.
I once killed a man just for snoring.
That was a lie.
I've never dated a girl more than a week without her telling me she loved me.
My house burned down when I was 10, and all my clothes smelled like smoke for a year.
I had the poor people's lunch/milk tickets and I never used them; i was too ashamed.
My study partner in 5th grade was named Justino Alacar.
He was from Malaysia and he had lice and was taken away, we never saw him again.
Some kids thought I was the one with lice.
I was not the one with lice.
I skipped 4th grade.
I did 2 years of high school my freshman year.
I had no pubic hair my freshman year, and a senior made fun of me in gym.
Why was he looking at my dick?
I sold mistletoe every christmas till I was 9, door to door riding on my bike.
Most people slammed the door in my face.
My first wrestling match was with Rockin Rico Casanova against The Freak Foundation.
Our tag team was named Spanish Fly.
I was married 7 years.
I was in the air force, special ops, for that long.
My enlistment was up.
My daughter thinks I'm rad.
I can moonwalk.