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2008-01-25 - 4:40 p.m.
Wrote this with my pal Todd Levin whose comedy stylings can be found at Tremble.com
RAMBO '08 DRINKING GAME:
- A beating heart is held in Rambo's hand: Drink
- Someone looks down and sees an arrow in their chest, about to explode: Drink
- A throat is cut while the enemy is preoccupied with reloading and looking around in a panicky fashion: Drink twice
- Someone silently prowls through the jungle, searching for Rambo when, suddenly, a twig snaps ominously beneath his feet and, a split second later, some sharpened logs fly out of nowhere and kill him dead: Person with most full cup drinks
- Rambo remembers when America used to be OK, and then feels sad: Pour your drink into the person's glass sitting to the right of you and make him/her drink
- People (possibly playing cards or Mahjongg) look down to see a grenade roll into their hut/room/building/fan boat, and proceed to dive out the nearest window: Finish Drinks
- Someone has a live grenade stuffed into his mouth or uniform: Put an ice cube down your shirt, and drink
- Rambo holds a dying person in his arm, and gets that revengey look in his eyes: Face salute and drink
- Someone is looking for Rambo in the jungle when, behind him, a pair of Rambo eyes magically appear from the mud/leaves: Pour your drink into the garbage
- Someone is killed by serrated knife: Drink, chase with a shot
- Someone is killed by crossbow: Do a shot
- Someone is killed by a crossbow, and pinned to a tree/wall: Do a shot, refill it, do another
- We see a pair of empty boots still smoking as evidence of death by explosion: Fill your shoe with beer, drink
- The screen fills with a slow, lingering shot of burned or torn American flag: Do a Body Shot off the person to your left
- Someone mentions John Rambo's green beret background: Nod serenly and knowingly drink and say, to no one in particular, "They brought this on themselves. They created John Rambo."
- Rambo catches a knife and throws it back at the thrower: Throw your drink at your neighbor and yell, "That was for our lost innocence!!"
- Someone stands over a female captive, and unbuckles his belt: Take back the night, and drink
- Rambo murders someone who has just unbuckled his pants and is seconds away from raping a female captive: Read aloud from The Feminine Mystique, and do a shot
- Rambo uses an enemy as a human shield: Pour everyone's drink into the least-full glass and make that person drink a "suicide"
- Rambo or anyone uses the phrase "first blood" in a sentence: Cheer wildly, draw your own blood with a pen-knife, squeeze it into a shot glass, and drink
- Rambo punches or kills a wild animal: Murmur into your glass, "This time you've gone too far, John Rambo," and drink
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