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2001-09-03 - 3:49 a.m.
Dear girl I met tonight,
I told you I'd write you tomorrow, so I will, but tonight I wanted to write a drunk little hey/hi, because I know that i'm about six inches off the ground, and smiling and happy, even though I still have a huge hole in my chest where my heart was a few days ago.
I want to say thank you, for not laughing at me when I tripped and almost spilled my drink when I was trying to act cool, walking across the bar towards the stair well, which led to the second floor, which I didn't need to go to, but needed an excuse to make eye contact with you, and for not turning away when I smiled at you.
I want to say I'm sorry for bumping into your head with mine, when I asked you if I could dance with you, just once, since I hadn't danced all night.
I want to say that you were the prettiest girl I saw tonight, and have seen in forever, and when my heart skipped a beat it wasn't something I expected, and I hope that you weren't smiling past me, but at me that first moment.
I also want you to know that when I told you about myself, each detail, the fact that I'm 30, the fact that I'm a single dad, who was married for eight years, they came to me easily and I wasn't afraid to tell you those things because you seemed real, and someone who wouldn't judge me and genuinely wanted to know about me, for no other reason other than just that. You wanted to know about me.
Girl I met tonight, you need to know that when you touched my face and said I was the cutest guy in the club, and that I had to have a girl who loved me somewhere, that I was so red, just then, and thank god for strobe lights and smoke thingies.
You also should know that when you asked me if you could see me next week, and that orlando wasn't that far from deltona, that I was so scared, and that I am so in need of someone who appreciates who I am and doesn't make sure I fill up the appropriate boxes to meet a set of criteria and be a showpiece, just some guy...a guy that you had a great time dancing with, and touching and talking to..smiling..everything, it made me feel so great.
I hope that right now, 4am...you're at home, wondering what I'm doing and wondering if I'm thinking about you and your smile.
because I am, and I just want to say thank you for making me feel really special tonight.
I can't wait to see you next week.