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2002-01-07 - 1:35 p.m.

I have no clue whether or not I should keep on trying to make something materialize with Susan or not...committment-phobia is one thing, but she's yet to ask to meet Chloe once.

We talk almost everynight for hours, sweet calls, and we never run out of things to say or talk about.

We have perfect nights together when we go out--no akward pauses, no incompatibilities as far as I can tell, even though we're different in many ways, and no tension. Just great dates.

Four months....I'm so clueless. I am doing my best to just take things slow and have fun with her, and not try to force anything. I haven't fallen for her yet, and I know that in time it will happen, I can feel that, she's very special, but I think I'm wasting my time fuck, to be honest, I don't know what to think.

Chloe is difficult these days. She cries alot, and goes out of her way to be fussy and whiney at bedtime, pushing me to the limits of my patience.

For breakfast she eats scrambled eggs over rice, and a poptart or a bowl of cereal, now. Lately, she's been taking to helping me make her breakfast, which isn't really helpful but I love it. It gives us morning time together, but she says she wants the OPPOSITE of whatever I start to get out to make her.

This morning she decided she wanted no milk on her cereal, and then I gave it to her without milk, and of course she started crying, and said she wanted orange juice on it.

So, me, being the beaten man that I am, gave in.

Orange Juice. Gross.

She's also getting to where she needs more sleep, and she's still fighting to stay up late, but 10pm seems to be when she falls asleep regardless as to what time I lay her down. She is in bed by 8:30 most nights now, after a bath, and still, an hour and a half of whining and crying and fussing.

I lay down with her, I talk to her, nightlight, a barbie in bed, nothing, no lights, no music, music, every variable seems to yield the same fussy Chloe.

So, when she gets to childcare, she's all sleepy like this:

She is definitely NOT a morning person.

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