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2002-06-18 - 9:34 a.m.

Went to the zoo near my place with Chloe. We talked about monkeys, and birds, and mostly crocodiles.

She wanted to see the polar bear, but I guess it had died.

I've missed spending days with her, the way we did in Orlando, and just talking, and picking her brain, making her laugh...

...and most importantly, making her smile.

I work about 2 to 3 hours a day. I work with Jeff on this project, and mostly deal with two fucking retarded people, on issues relating to a flash application.

Then I wake Chloe up, and we go hang out, talk, read, swim, work out (there's a room of a few kids that are at the gym with a "teacher").

We are ready to end this visit at grandma and grandpas, and get a fix on where we're going to be living.

Unfortunately, Apple has pretty much not responded to me in a week. No onsite interview, yet, which drives me fucking LOOPY. I can't wait, I need to start working fulltime, for insurance for Chloe and I.

I did get a call back for a directors position in Oakland. More money, but Oakland. Where people get shot in the face at stoplights.

I miss Susan tremendously. I miss everything about her. It upsets me that I may have given up on one of the first really good people I've ever cared for.

See, I've dated girls who've been pretty much beautiful on the outside, and dirty, horrible people in the inside.

Susan is beautiful inside and out, and I guess the biggest flaw that stuck out,was her being emotionally stunted..and it's not even her fault.

Me on the other hand, I'm emotionally inconsistent. At least I knew what to expect from her. She has every right to be scared of any sort of committment with me.

I think I need a new heart

Okay, here's our pics from the zoo.


Chloe was trying to make the birds sing, by saying SING RIGHT NOW WHITE BIRDS. Ineffective.

at the rose garden.

She's all like"come here daddy, smell the rose flower".

It's the angle. My daughters head is bigger than this yellow rose.

Chloe was taking some photos of me. I don't know why I look like a fucking mohawk indian, but whatever. I guess she cut it a bit too short.

Under the rail, checking out the gibbons I think.

Mountain lions were one of her favorites. She kept saying NO. GO AWAY. When they would run up and at each other, near her section of the observation area.

She better not keep smiling like me. It doesn't do her justice.

Here Chloe explains how she will catch birds in the open air exhibit we were going into, moments later.

I swear she has clothes that fit her.

The open air bird exhibit kept us busy for an hour or so.

There is nothing better than being a dad. Nothing in the world.

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