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2003-06-29 - 12:17 a.m.

It's marie's birthday today..well yesterday. She's sleeping in our bed right now, her face lit up in the glow of candles, which are always lit in the bedroom, at night, and out by morning.

She glows.

We made love, holding one another, bodies intertwined, staring into each others eyes, seeing the one person we were meant to be with, smiling and appreciating each expression...the verbal and the non-verbal.

We do just fine at the non-verbal. =)

She doesn't know the stress I'm feeling right now. When she reads this (tomorrow maybe?) I'm sure she will be anxious and upset, but it's best to let her sleep right now.

I am pretty much fucked on this job if I don't get these tapes that we paid for here. Today I had to pay out 12k cash, out of my dwindling bank account, since I vouched for the person who Craig paid to do them. They are almost a month late, and Craig asked for a shipping # by tonight, or we could part ways as the company can't afford to swallow a 12k nugget.

So that's how it stands. I keep getting invalid info, etc...told "it will be there, etc..." but no shipping #.

Atilla is msging me over and over asking for bank wire info so I can pay Craig so the company doesn't eat the debt.

Instead, I am. You know, since I have 12,000 dollars to just shit away, and not feel the pinch. My money goes to my parents, my brother sometimes, marie, chloe, and me, I like to spend it on food and friends...and whatever I was able to save for her college, is pretty much being digitally ripped out of my hands, because I trust someone when they say No Problem! The check is in the mail!

I should be selling these videos for the past three weeks and have literally lost 12 to 20,000 in revenue for the company over this. A buy-all on the entire pack is around 2k, and I've had to turn away 10 or so, Milo about 5..and whatever Craig has had in the hopper are not able to buy yet either.

So at best I lose a job, at worse I lose Craig as a friend. At the end of the day I (maybe, who knows?) will have a stack of DV tapes that I can try to broker to salvage something...

Time to hit

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